The Thin Blog Line

I've had to make some edits to my previous posts. It seems that I upset someone, who I mentioned in them. This wasn't my intention, but it makes me wonder about the role that blogs serve for me (the writer) and for you (the reader). From my experience as the "reader" of other people's blogs, I found them an interesting window into people's lives, their thoughts are sometimes profound and sometimes just throwaway, but I like the fact that I can post a response and interact with someone on the other side of the world. I never think of people writing blogs to be vain, self-important or arrogant purely because they blog. I respect people more when they are honest, even when at times reading about their troubles can be uncomfortable.

But here is the twist, because when I question myself about why I blog I'm caught between two explanations. One of which is suspicious of my own desperate vanity, the fear that I may write something purely to arouse strangers interest in myself, so that they will think that I'm "interesting", "significant" or "different", maybe even in possession of natural talent, divine grace of some-kind. I hope that this isn't true...at times I've questioned myself about this, I trust myself enough to know that I won't allow myself to cross that line.

The other explanation is rather more down to earth. Blogging provides me with a way of externalising my thoughts and experiences, writing here provides me with a multi-dimensional mirror that not only provides a reflection but also a release, whilst beaming out across the world wide web where the potential for reaching out to people is still rapidly expanding. In this sense, it provides more than a traditional diary...because its about sharing through a community...and in truth, I find most bloggers very supportive.

There are dangers with this though...because people, everyday people are entwined in our lives, experiences and emotions. So, if I recount an experience here, with the intention (I hope) of total emotional honesty or indeed maybe with careless informity...it is easy to forget that what we write on these blogs are in fact "out there". They won't maim or kill. But they may hurt, upset and anger.

Part of me, sitting here right now wonders if I've just done the right thing by editing my previous posts. They recollected the particular events from my perspective, and these were unpleasant, upsetting and pretty chilling for me at the time. Does integrity in blogging matter? And if so, have I surrendered my integrity because someone out there didn't like what I'd written and its easier to press "Delete" than it is to live with the thought that whether its down to misinterpretation, overzealousness, resentment, or anger...that someone out there thinks that I've done something vindictive?

Maybe I've had to do this, because the whole thing about personal, journal like blogging is something that you need to be a certified blogger to know the etiquette and what to expect. There was a time a few years ago, when I was pretty much terrorised over the web by some people who for whatever reason wanted to break me down, they sent a lot of nasty emails, anonymously...but I don't believe that this was ever published online. I have been criticised before (but much more often respected) for writing very honestly about my life whether its been through my website or now with this blog. People can sometimes get caught in the cross-fire. But here's the difference. I sign MY name after everything that I write. I publish my email address and urge people to make contact with me. I am answerable for what I publish, I have no problem with discussing it. This is the difference.

A rambling post, I know. I'll probably come back to this subject at somepoint in the future. It tells us a lot about the powerful role the web plays in people's lives emotionally today, I think.

Stayed over in my new house last night. Just sorting out the paperwork at the moment. I'm going to make contact with some promotions companies for upcoming gigs. It's going to be great to have my stuff with me in London, my multitracker, my music, my guitars.

We shall blog on into the future!!

Tom.