This Is No Social Crisis...

...Its Just Another Tricky Day For You.

I walked into work today in a really killer good mood. The Who's Face Dances was one of their most slated albums, but I'll tell you this right now, that some of Townshend's songwriting in it has got a lyrical bite and musically speaking a quiet but sharp aggression that clicks on the ass kicking gear in your head.

I am really fired up at the moment. I'm the MC at The Who convention this Saturday, and I can't wait for it. Its going to be stellar....I've also seen the pathway to my own music beginning to open up and I think that this mini-opera is going to shut a lot of people up. Period.

Though, as is customary in the world of Tom, I've had a bit of a potential spanner in the works. What can I say...hang on...I've been here before...and didn't I learn last time that I shouldn't say anything. So, I'll have to be cryptic...and someone out there should be able to decode what I'm going to say so this is my cryptic musing...don't fall asleep in the bear pit, because when you wake up you'll see the bears in there (cue refrain: there ain't no bears in there, cac-he cac-he).

And despite my brief flirtation once again with the bears, I have to say that right now I'm in love with the world, music and all good things that we can bring to it. (I'm not going fucking soft though!)

Tom.

In actual fact right now...I'm feeling super charged with anger over the pathetic state of whats going on around us right now and our complete and total impotence, ignorance, and pathetic self-denial of our ability/duty to change it. And I wish that bell-end of an australian behind me would stop tapping his fucking foot and whistling.

Still in love with everything else though.

By the way...if you haven't then please check out my myspace page at www.myspace.com/tommatchett

Smash Your Head Against A Brick Wall

Recorded last night after work, which followed on from Sunday evening's difficult sessions. It was all pretty uncomfortable. I can't get into a grove with it. I've recorded the same guitar and vocal track six times over the two sessions. I'm still not happy with it. It isn't good enough to ask people to exchange their dollar for it.

Maybe I'm beating myself up a bit on it. It isn't much fun, but has to be done. Its a times like this that I realise that music is something that I need to do, and not necessarily something that I always enjoy. Its pretty evident from this entry - I learn new things about myself every time I write - that my mindset isn't the best one to be trying to be creative at the moment. But as I said to my friend, future producer and prospective bandmate/collaborator, Llee, last night over the telephone...these are the times that mark out the best of us with the least talent, because we struggle on and work at it until the thread turns from straw into gold.

So, I will be working away at it again tonight. Desperately trying to find something, anything, everything that can open up a more fruitful creative pathway. It is all about recording right now...not outright songwriting...I can't write songs at the moment, something has switched off in me. Whenever I try and play a guitar, or sing something my mind gets flooded with a lot of bad memories and images. Its the devil's distraction. Its the pycho-creative front line of my fighting internal mindset. Like the trenches, or something like that.

Am going to keep at it.

Tom.

Total Waste Of Space

I can't get any focus on anything creative at the moment. I'm deeply concerned about fucking it all up and getting too old to be able to cut it.

I hate mediocrity. We are awash with mediocrity at the moment. Half baked compromises, etc, etc. I want no part in this. Hence, I am feeling disturbed by my own apparent mediocrity and rapid creative decline.

I am disgusted by my indulgence, and have been foolish to frame my own mindset by the standards and expectations of others around me...their expectations are too low. To allow my life to simply click into place with the values and ambitions of my peers leads only to the destruction of my own individual value system.

It shouldn't be a case of get up, go to work, go home, watch television, go to sleep.

I must discipline myself more. I must be more demanding from my time. I will have to work harder...maybe harder than I've ever worked before.

I have achieved nothing yet.

I will put it very simply. I cannot measure any relationships or relative values within my life without a great deal of suspicion about those who ordinarily I should trust and be drawn closer too. Why should people want to love me? I am not, who I am working toward being...simply, I don't understand how people can be content with me, when I feel discontent. Constantly moving upward, onward, elsewhere (though, as I think this entry seems to indicate, recently I have been moving downward or maybe, at best, sideways...this is whilst time moves forward, hence relatively speaking more progress has been regressive- hope that's the right word).





Went on a bender on Friday - not financed by me - smoked quite a lot...haven't smoked since. I think this time that I'm really kicking this habit into touch. Hope so...I need the money.

Tom.

Day Three Of Quitting Smoking

Hmmmmmmm,

I'm going a bit psycho. Taking lots of nicotine gum. Its making me feel pretty gash frankly.

Went out for a run this morning at 7am...I am in an apalling physical condition.

Must spend more time pushing myself. Must get fitter and healthier.

Trying to spend as little money as possible. Having to avoid the pub too...smoking and booze. Can't be good for quitting.

I like the pub. I love smoking and booze.

Hence the problem.

Tom.

Oh Come On...

Come out come out, wherever you are!

Don't be so shy you lurkers. I don't bite.

Ho ho ho.

Its the big birthday on Monday. 25. The quarter century. Getting old. Am going to drink champagne and smoke Lucky Strikes.

Peace.Out.

Tom.

Who Are The Lurkers? UKC and UCL

Just wondering. Who are the lurkers on this blog? Its a real mystery. Lots of hits from the University of Kent (about 37 since the middle of February) and some from University College London (UCL otherwise known as The Bloomsbury Computing Consortium).

So, come on...show yourself.

Am hoping to blog here more, will probably post the same entries as on the myspace page.

Peace and love wherever you hippies are!

Tom.

Who Are The Lurkers? UKC and UCL

Just wondering. Who are the lurkers on this blog? Its a real mystery. Lots of hits from the University of Kent (about 37 since the middle of February) and some from University College London (UCL otherwise known as The Bloomsbury Computing Consortium).

So, come on...show yourself.

Am hoping to blog here more, will probably post the same entries as on the myspace page.

Peace and love wherever you hippies are!

Tom.

Getting Frustrated

I want to rock. But I'm too sick to sing. :(:(

Not happy about that.

Should be posting here more. Out of the loop, a little.

Will try and make more of an effotrt.

Until then...

Tom.